“Veet Hair removal for men” I Had to post this as i found it quite funny

1 May

 

Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)

Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don’t have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

  • (I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)

I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman’s log cabin, so for the past few years I’ve used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I’m sure you’ve realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I’m going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that.

However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I’ve spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman’s arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn’t even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it’s only because I wanted children.

All in all an effective and reasonably priced product – 3 Stars

Although I understood the part about ‘intimate use’ I could not find anything about this not being for nose or ear hair. I get fed up with constantly cutting myself whilst trying to cut my ear and nose hair with a pair of Kitchen Scissors, so I decided that this product would work for me. I rubbed it up into my nostrils and around the outside of my ears. Very soon the burn started and trust me it really makes your eyes water. Probably more that if it was on your knob or bollocks like the other reviewer did. If your eyes do water, make sure the product is not on your hands when you go to wipe your eyes as this porodcut also removes eyelashes and eyebrows and makes youe eyes water even more. I look like I have been put on a sunbed for too long and people keep asking me why I am crying. Still, a good product which does what it says
First off this is a pretty good product. My wife got a couple of tubes for me so I could do my chest and back (I swim lots so smooth body is a must). This was all well and good and the product did the job as stated.The problem came when we decided to baldify my arse crack. Oh my god, bloody hell what a mistake. The first sensation was of a nice chilled feeling between my bottom cheeks, kind of like sitting down in wet grass. All well and good. Then I hit the shower, it was like a vindaloo had been poured between my arse cheeks, while I was getting a severe wedgie. To say it was agony is an understatement, I was howling. Even today (4 days after the event) I can’t walk properly or sit on my bike.

All I have to say is leave your sack and crack to the experts and don’t smear this burning lube anywhere down below. Keep it to your chest, arms, back and legs and all will be fine.

Not since Steve McQueen entered the ‘Towering Inferno’ has a human object burnt so intensely.I applied the cream to my spuds and within 24 seconds my orbs were throbbing.

Imagine being dragged naked down the autobahn in Germany behind an F1 car. That is exactly how my seed sack felt.

On the plus side, my nuts are totally foliage-free. On the down side Ill never be a Father.

I have recently started to date a younger girl and decided to “tidy myself” up with some serious manscaping as to increase the illusion of “looking bigger”. I didn’t want to go down the route of removing EVERYTHING so decided it would be fun to come up with a theme.If any one else, like me, decides to try and draw the Batman logo down there I feel I should offer some advice!

1. Make a stencil first
2. Don’t leave it on for to long
3. Don’t run your hand though your hair (on head) whilst admiring yourself in the mirror and attempting work out roughly what 6 mins is in your head.

Needles to say I left it on too long and ended up with burnt testicles and single – let that be a warning!

I’ve awarded 5 stars at it did what you’d expect it to do – make you look like you never hit puberty.

Probably a product that shouldn’t have been invented for dudes but, hey, it was a life experience

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