Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don’t have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.
- (I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)
Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that.
However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I’ve spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman’s arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn’t even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it’s only because I wanted children.
All in all an effective and reasonably priced product – 3 Stars
All I have to say is leave your sack and crack to the experts and don’t smear this burning lube anywhere down below. Keep it to your chest, arms, back and legs and all will be fine.
Imagine being dragged naked down the autobahn in Germany behind an F1 car. That is exactly how my seed sack felt.
On the plus side, my nuts are totally foliage-free. On the down side Ill never be a Father.
1. Make a stencil first
2. Don’t leave it on for to long
3. Don’t run your hand though your hair (on head) whilst admiring yourself in the mirror and attempting work out roughly what 6 mins is in your head.
Needles to say I left it on too long and ended up with burnt testicles and single – let that be a warning!
I’ve awarded 5 stars at it did what you’d expect it to do – make you look like you never hit puberty.
Probably a product that shouldn’t have been invented for dudes but, hey, it was a life experience
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